On LOVE...

      This subject has been on my mind a LOT recently.  I am not sure why but I think about it every night and a lot during the day.  So I thought maybe if I blog it...I can move my thoughts on...time will tell!
When I think about love I immediatly think of my family.  My kids and my Cowboy.  Simple right?  
Not really, there are so many degree's if you will, of love.  
      I remember when Erick and I were engaged, he told me one night that his Dad had talked to him about being "in love" with me.  He said that he told him that he probably was not really in love with me as much as he just loved certain things about me.  That being IN LOVE with someone takes time, years even.  Woahhhh did that ever hurt my feelings!  ESPECIALLY because Erick said he agreed!! I just figured, they were men and didn't really know what they were saying and I KNEW that Erick was in love with me so what-EV!! 
     Not long after we were married, we had a little disagreement and I was trying to prove one point and Erick another.  I then said to Erick, "I am SURE my Dad would agree with me."  To which Erick replied, "well, your DAD has loved you A LOT longer than I have!"  He was right! I had to laugh at that!  I still do actually!  As our marriage went on, I can remember SPECIFIC things/times that I felt myself fall IN love with Erick.  When we had Claira Joe and I had so many complications and had to come home from the hospital a week after we had her with a cathider for 2 weeks, and Erick who DOES NOT handle stuff like that well, was AMAZING (and that's an understatement!!)  He cared for me as if he had loved me as long as my Dad had.  I remember FALLING IN LOVE with him during that time.  It was also during that time that my Father in Law's thought's came back to mind and I knew that he was in fact RIGHT.  
     There have been times over our almost 10 years that I have fallen more for my Cowboy and I love that it is still happening.  The love I feel for him is true, and real and pure.  It is the sort where the thought of hurting him in any way is more than I can bare.  Silly and sappy yes, I know but it really is true.  It is fun for me to think of all the things that I love about him, it is wonderful to think of the moments I fell in love with him.  
     On the flip side of this, is our children.  I fall IN love with each of them the MOMENT I see 2 lines on the little stick!  I fall deeper in love with them when I see that little heartbeat on the screen at 9 weeks pregnant.    I have NEVER in my life felt such a love as I feel for my children.  It is INTENSE and STRONGER than any other emotion I have felt.  This little baby girl that will be coming within 4 weeks has my heart.  I know that she is going to ROCK MY WORLD with craziness and sleepless night's and feedings etc. but I am SO IN LOVE with her!  I can't wait!  I can't wait to take part in the MOST AMAZING experience that any human can experience and work hand in hand with the Lord and bring her into this world.  There is a moment right after these babies come that you can't deny that the veil is thin.  Knowing, her little perfect spirit just came from His glorious arms.  It is sacred.  It is powerful and unforgetable as a Mother.
     People keep asking us if we are going to have dare I say it...ANOTHER child.  (as if it is any of their business!) To that question, I don't know.  I am not sure.  What I do know is that our family is full of LOVE.  We have a lot to share.  We just might have 3 more kids, we might be done.  This decision is ours and ours alone.  The joys of bringing a child to our family FAR out weigh the pain and the "risks" that we are dealing with right now.  So rest easy and KNOW that we have it under control.  
Being IN LOVE is good, it is something I hope I never take for granted.  What a shame that would be!