Day 2

Well...Today was pretty good.  It is a little hard to know WHAT TO DO! The kids are anxious to learn and I don't have our curriculum yet so we are just doing workbook pages and reading and writing in our journals.  Which is fun and all but it is also leaving me feeling a little inadequate of this journey.  I am sure I will feel better when I have the curriculum from the Path Program.
Today as they were sitting writing in their journals, I was looking at my sweet kids and I could not help but second guess myself AGAIN!  I keep doing this.  I wish I could just stop it already!  I can usually redirect my thoughts after a few moments but not soon enough that some of those thoughts can't penetrate my heart and soul for a moment.  I think of silly things like my poor little Derick, and all of his good friends and his teacher.  He is not with them anymore.  There was NOTHING wrong with them to begin with.  UGHHHHHH is this the right thing for him?  Will any of his friends show up for his birthday party next weekend without him there to remind them of it?  Oh dear, I hope so!  He LOVES Social Studies...I don't know the first thing about SS.  Mr. Metcalf his teacher really loved teaching that topic which is one of the reasons I think Derick liked it so much. I pray I can offer that same enthusiasm for the subject as well as the others.  Then there is Kash, who honestly, I wish I could have left in school.  Why?  Well he is doing GREAT in school.  I think he needs to be in a classroom with peers and a teacher.  He had a great teacher.  However, he was NOT EVEN SORT OF having the idea of everyone else being homeschooled and him having to go to school.  Maybe he will change his mind.  Maybe I will.  I don't really think it was wrong to pull him out but I think he was just fine where he was.  My sweet little Claira Joe.  She also had an amazing teacher who was helping her LEAPS AND BOUNDS with her reading especially.  Tutoring her twice a week on her own time etc.  So can you see why my heart feels so conflicted?  Can you see why I am such an emotional wreck over this?  I miss the school already.  I miss their teachers and friends. I miss the drop off and pick up line.  I miss KNOWING that they are being taught the things that are required.  HOWEVER,  I love having them here.  I love seeing the relationships between ALL of us already strengthening after only 2 days!  I love that they want to do this and that they know it takes all of us working together to make this work well.  I love that we went to Skateland last night and had a blast and got home a little late and were able to sleep in until 7:30 and still have a full school time together.  Well rested and calm without the crazy rush to get out the door BY 7:30.  I love that once again, we had meaningful Scripture Study and prayer.
So today, this is where I am at.  I am all over the board.  I still feel this is the right thing for us.  It is hard.  I didn't ever think it would be easy, not for one second.  I didn't know my heart would feel this way though.
Day 2 is done, we are off to play together in the backyard and enjoy the rest of the day!!
Thanks again for all the love and support AND advice!